I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
