She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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