i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
