I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
