my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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