I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
