and you said cock pushups were impossible
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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