nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
