So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
