come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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