I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
