think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
