What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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