8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
