I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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