it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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