therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
