One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again