Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
