dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
nutella sex= disaster
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
