You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
