She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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