Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
