hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
