I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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