guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
