I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
