I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
