The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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