I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
