I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
