I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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