Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
