I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So apparently I’m into choking now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
