He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I will pee on everything he values.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
