I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
