I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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