dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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