He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
