Yo dont text me then not text me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
