I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap