You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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