Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!