Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.