dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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