I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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