Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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