Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize