he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
