you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
