i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
