Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
