I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
