Got a toothbrush?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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