The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
