Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
