alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
