Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this just has baby written all over it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
