And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
