He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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