My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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