You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
