I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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