If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
