the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
