we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
