now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
