If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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